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I Won’t Pretend

July 10, 2010

I am not going to pretend. Living in an RV is NOT some romantic kind of thing…not the way we are doing it anyway. This is getting harder and harder. The couch/bed we sleep on is breaking down. So are the chairs we sit on. The reality is that we are paying a price for that. Our bodies are aching and we are not getting the sleep we really need.

There is also no way to really avoid clutter in here. I know…with 7 acres you would think we could just put everything outside. Well, we can’t. There are some things we need to keep inside. The rest does go outside. However, they end up in bins that have lids that get broken down from the sun and the weather. Then the rain gets in and ruins whatever is in the bin. Mold and mildew are lots of fun, too. And yes…it does get frustrating. I am not going to pretend otherwise.

Cooking is interesting. Our convection oven still does not work…although we DO finally have the parts in and an appointment made. It has only been broken since December. Yep…over SIX months! Beware GE, folks. It does no good to have a warranty if you cannot get the parts in due to being back-ordered. Thankfully, the microwave part of it HAS been working and the grill part.

It is very difficult to get motivated to fix good meals when you have next to no counter space. Yet, with hubby being out of work for so long, we really need to do more of the from scratch thing…which is actually healthier and much preferred. I like to cook and bake…but our living situation makes it so much easier to do box mixes and microwaving. Oh, how I miss having a regular kitchen that I can cook and experiment in. Now that our budget is down…well…it gets really interesting. We have plenty of food…that is not an issue. We just can’t afford to be as choosy about what we eat…or how it needs to be prepared.

We also have no real privacy…amongst ourselves. There are three of us in this tiny RV…and when it is super hot, or raining, or freezing cold…we are all in here together. It is very rare that I can write anything without interruption. The writing of this post, for example, has been interrupted several times. Although I do the best I can to proofread, I often just pray that what I wrote makes sense and has no typos! Even my proofreading is often interrupted!

Having no job is difficult. Unemployment works for the basic stuff, but it does not help much when vehicles break down. I am so glad that Yahweh is our real provider. Somehow…some way…we have what we need to live. Sure, we don’t have a lot of what we want…and we often not very comfortable…but we do have what we need. We have food to eat and shelter from the weather. We have clothes to wear…and we even have the ability to wash and dry them here on the land.

Home educating is a bit of a challenge, too. We have no real table to work on…no place to spread things out. Everything is pretty much on the lap. However, we do make it work. We focus on what we can do while we wait for our situation to change. And it will change…some day.

When things are hard it can become very easy to focus on the difficulties. We work very hard to focus on the positives…on the blessings in what we have. When it feels like the walls are closing in…I thank my heavenly Abba that I HAVE walls to protect me. When I am bugged about my oven and/or my kitchen…I thank my Abba that I have the microwave and a kitchen…however small. I thank Him for the stove and the sink.

When I have to take short showers due to a six gallon water heater…I thank Him that I have a water heater. When I hate the inconvenience and mess that comes from having a tiny sink…I thank Him that I have a sink…and running water. When I really need to soak and all I have is a tiny bathtub…I thank Him that I DO have a bathtub! And on it goes…

There are things I have to let go of due to this situation. I need to trust that my Abba wants me to let go of them…that, if they are really important, He will make a way for me to do them…or have them. Between having PTSD and a trauma brain and living in a tiny space with two other people and being an introvert who needs solitude to recharge…I am VERY challenged in this situation. There are days when it is difficult to even concentrate, let alone focus intently on something. I do manage…but it is not easy.

For those who want to live in an RV…there are some things you really need to look at. Make sure the RV you buy is big enough for what you want to do. You also have to look at whether you want to travel or stay in one place. You need to have adequate storage for food and clothes and books and whatever else you feel you really must have. Which is another thing…really think about what you MUST have versus what you can do without. If you can do without something, I highly recommend you do so.

Well…I really need to bring this post to a close. My brain is getting foggy and it is hard to concentrate. I am also very tired from not sleeping well last night…again. I think I will go spend time with my Abba. He has a way of touching me like nothing/no one else can. He is my Comforter and my strength.

From our little RV to you…wherever you are…I hope that you, too, are able to turn to our heavenly Abba for comfort and for strength. Our Creator loves you so much…just as He does me. I don’t always understand what He is doing…but I know that He is working things out for my greatest good and for His glory so that others may see the reality of His existence and of His love. He never promises that things will be easy in this life. In fact, through His Son, Yeshua, He promises the opposite…that we will have trials and tribulations. But Yeshua promises to always be with us. He will never leave us or forsake us. His Ruach/Spirit lives within those who have accepted what Yeshua has done for them. His Ruach is always living within us. Wow! I hope you have experienced that for yourself!

Random photo for the day:

3 Comments leave one →
  1. emily l. :) permalink
    July 13, 2010 1:56 PM

    “Delight thyself also in the LORD ; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.”
    Psalm 37:4-6

  2. emily l. :) permalink
    July 13, 2010 5:50 PM

    Indeed He is. =)
    -Emily L. =)

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