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May 15, 2010

Living in a situation like ours means that we all have to be very accommodating to one another. Of course, I am sure we can all feel, at times, as if we are the only ones doing all the accommodating…or at least most of the accommodating. I know there are times I feel that way…as if I am the one who is always giving way to the others.

Then I start to really look at things to find the truth and I realize how silly that kind of thinking really is…and how selfish. The guys are giving up a lot, too. We all have to work hard to make this work. We all have to give way to the needs and desires of the others at times.

Isn’t that what all life is about, though? We are designed to live in community. In order to make community work, we need to be willing to give to one another and to let go of some of our own desires. And yes, there are times when the one who seems to be giving up the most changes. But that is OK. It keeps on going around.

Someday our situation will change. I have no idea when. That is something only our Creator knows…and He has not exactly been very forthcoming with that information. At least we know we can trust Him to meet our real needs and to get us through whatever we have to go through.

Yahweh accommodates Himself to our needs. We needed some way to restore the fellowship between Him and us, so He sent a part of Himself…Yeshua/Jesus…to take care of that problem. We needed a daddy who would love us like our earthly fathers never could, so He gave us a part of Himself…a heavenly Abba/Daddy. We needed a nurturer and encourager…a cheerleader who would always be with us…so He sent us that part of Himself known as the Ruach HaKodesh/Holy Spirit.

Not willing to lose all of His rebellious creation, He made a way for those of us who really DO want to be with Him…who DO want to reconnect. We get to regain that fellowship…to bask in His love and to love Him back. It is not that we can really love Him. We can’t. I know I sure can’t. But He loved me…and showed His love to me…while I was helpless and unable to do a single thing to bridge the gap between us…to get back into fellowship with Him. He did it all. And then He gave it as a gift to me…a gift that I could either accept…or reject. And He offers that same gift to all who will accept it. I am so glad that I accepted it.

He came to me as Yeshua/Jesus. I came to Him as a small child. My heavenly Abba/Daddy took my hand in a way that my earthly father never could. And through all the abuse, His Ruach/Spirit protected and guarded my heart. He watched what was happening and His presence tempered and shaped how the abuse effected me. He got me through it…holding on to me while remaining true to His own promise of allowing my parents and my other abusers to choose their own way. He would not force them to obey Him, even though it grieved His heart. He did, however, set limits upon what they could do to me…how far they could go.

Why He allowed me to live while taking others Home to be with Him and out of the pain of this world…I do not clearly know. I only know that He had/has some purpose for my life…some good that He wants to accomplish through me…through my life. I take that as a compliment…albeit it a hard one. There have been many times in my life…starting very young…that I wanted so badly for Him to just take me Home to be with Him. But the time was not yet…and it still is not yet.

I pray that everyone will recognize the incredible gift He wants to share with all of us. I pray that others will also find that Shalom/peace that goes beyond understanding. Shalom does not mean an absence of pain. It means that I can find healing and peace even in the midst of the pain. It means that I do not have to remain a victim of what happened to me before I was able to say “no”. His healing Shalom means that I can keep moving forward…with His help…with His grace and mercy.

I hope that, someday, my parents will accept that same gift and find the mercy and grace that I have. I pray that all of you will also find it and accept it.

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