I love winter…I really do. I love the snow…although I hate the ice. Then again…ice makes for some beautiful sights. I just don’t like it on the ground and when it is bringing down power lines. I love the beauty of a pristine blanket of white covering everything.
I love winter when the sun is shining and I can feel its warmth coming through the window. I love to sit and drink something hot and soothing while watching big, fluffy flakes coming down. I like watching the birds at the feeder. Lately, we have a yellowish colored cardinal coming around. He has the distinct top knot, but is yellowish in color with some gray. Cardinal/canary mix?
I love winter, but it is difficult to really enjoy it fully living as we do. Winter also means bringing things we do not really have room for into an already overcrowded RV. It means doing extra things…like de-icing the window tracks. It means cold floors and heaters in our way as we try to stay warm. It means going outside in the cold weather to do laundry in ice cold water. Although, right now, laundry means driving all the way into town (about 20 minutes away) to a laundromat. Sometimes, it is too cold to run the washer because the water sitting in the hose will start to freeze. Or…like right now…our washer is totally dead (and full of water). We do have another coming. We just have to deal with the logistics of trying to get the old one out and the new over here and in before the replacement freezes and breaks.
We also have to be careful getting in and out of bins. The cold makes the plastic extra brittle, especially after the sun has been shining down on them every day for months (and years). It is interesting to look out and see icicles hanging from the bin lids and to see sheets of ice on top where the rain has frozen.
It is a busier time of year…with home education and home school co-op. I love the co-op. It gives me a chance to connect with other home educating parents…mostly moms. We share our talents and abilities…our children, our dreams, our struggles. What a wonderful gift it is. What a wonderful gift THEY are! And this semester I have the privilege of teaching. I am loving it and looking forward to teaching next year, too.
So winter is a mixed time for me. I like it when I can get to my washer and dryer without going out in the cold. Although, even if I could just have a warm laundry room it would be nice. I like it when I can go into my refrigerator/freezer without having to put a coat on. But such is life right now. I hope it changes in the spring.
For now, I will enjoy the smell of chicken boiling in the roaster that Dave brought in from outside. It is being made into soup while I work some more on combining two articles. I will enjoy the beauty of the snow and the sermons from friends in AZ. I will enjoy that I am not out there with the guys who are breaking up the ice in the driveway after Dave and I both slipped and fell this afternoon. Our van is up here with us, while the car is below, not making it all the way back up when Dave came home early this afternoon.
Life goes on. The vehicles will get moved. The ice will eventually thaw. The seasons of the year will change just as surely as the seasons of life do. I will keep looking for the beauty and the good and keep trusting through the ugliness and grays of life.
From our little RV on the hillside…remember that it is all about trust. We need to trust the One who made us…that He has a plan and a purpose for our lives and for our situations. It is also about perspective…as hard as our situation is, it could be worse. Pray for the Haitians and do what you can to help them. Do the same others around you who have needs. Look for things to be thankful for. Choose to enjoy the people around you. Choose to love.
I found two rather interesting blog posts today. One has to do with words that just seem to be disappearing. Being a writer who loves the English language, that one naturally caught my attention. You can find it here. The rest of his blog is a bit eclectic. You might find something you like there.
The other was a post about footprints in the snow. I love the snow. I love taking photos. This post has photos and a bit of a story line about them. I hope you enjoy it. I found it here. In the rest of her blog, she also writes of homesteading, cast iron cooking, winter gardening and shares her recipes.
I have to laugh when I see that term “catching up” because I never really feel like I am…catching up, that is…with everything on my proverbial plate. I guess that could be a good thing. I mean…life sure isn’t boring. I never lack for something to do, although my living situation oftentimes does constrain me in what I would LIKE to do! In this case, though, I am actually thinking more of catching my readers up with what is going on with us since I last wrote.
Although the cold came early and definitely hit us rather hard, we are making it through. One month of “official” winter down and two to go. There have been some warmer respites, which we have thoroughly enjoyed. One time, it almost felt like spring…for about two or three days. Then it was back to the freeze. Ah well…such is life!
I am sitting here in the sunshine for the first time in a very long time. It feels so good! The guys put plastic on the outside of the window facing the meadow about two weeks or so ago, but did not get the opposite window done until yesterday. That means that I am finally able to take the foil insulation sheet out of the window I sit next to without losing so much heat. Until last summer, I did not get much sun through this window because most of the time we had to keep a tarp over the awning and the tarp hung down the side. That has since ripped up and now the awning is not really covered, which means the stuff under it can get wet when the water leaks through the tears in it. BUT…I have the sun shining in!
It is also good to be able to remove the insulation sheet because ice and condensation still form behind it and drip down along the inside of the RV. This creates a great medium for mold to grow. When I take the sheet off the window, I can squeegee the moisture off and get it out of here. That helps the Damp Rid moisture collectors we use have less moisture to collect. I like that as it means less emptying and refilling. We have four of them in the RV, plus one that hangs up in Elias’ area.
Although the light and sunshine are really nice, the view out of this window is definitely not the best. Looking out and seeing scattered bins, an unfinished platform base and assorted items scattered about reminds me of dreams we have had to let go of in this journey called “life”. Yet, in spite of the hardships of this life…or maybe because of them…I am close to our Abba. He is the One who gets me through.
When Dave got up this morning, the temperature was in the teens. It has been slowly increasing and we are now at 28º. As soon as it gets above freezing, we will hook up the washing machine and start doing laundry. I think doing laundry is probably the hardest thing about winter for me, right above trying to find things in bins outside and having all the extra stuff inside. Although, finding things in bins is always a struggle, but winter is definitely the worst!
I love winter. I love snow. Around here, though, we tend to get quite a bit of ice and little snow. This year, in spite of the cold (or maybe because of it), we have had very little ice. We have had more snowfalls, although not that much actual sticking snow. Although the ground has been covered in white a lot more, it has not really been enough for Elias to toboggan in…yet. He is ever hopeful.
And so go the days…one after another. I have been trying to get a business off the ground. That has involved a lot of software learning and organizing. I have the paperwork done to file my business name on the County level, but have not done it yet. Hopefully, that will happen this week. Other than behind the scenes stuff, I have put the business temporarily on hold. It might be on hold until we move out of the RV. I really need more room to do it right. I was so hoping to be in the cabin/house by winter.
I have also been working with Elias in helping him to get organized regarding his life and his education. He is now starting to use a planner. We will see how that goes. He is starting to understand his goals more and is learning to figure out to achieve them.
I have an article on internet safety due within the next week or two. It is just about to completion. Actually, it is completed. It is the companion article that it refers back to and that will be posted elsewhere that needs some finishing touches. I hope to finish that today.
All in all, we are doing well. Sometimes it feels as if the walls are closing in, but not very often. For that, I am MOST THANKFUL. That is something only my heavenly Abba could have done within me. It is still very challenging to live this way…and even downright hard. Yet, with the footers in, at least we have something in sight for the spring. I am trusting our Abba to provide the materials we need to get a cabin/house built so we can get out of the RV. Dave has already said that, if we don’t get out this summer, we will have to sell and try to find a place to rent. The RV is simply falling apart.
Right now, renting is a financial impossibility. The best thing would be to have a cabin built…even if we have to finish the inside after moving in. At least, it would be paid for and we know we can afford that. On the other hand, seeing as how all we have comes from our Abba, He can certainly make a way for us to rent somewhere, too, if need be. We just know that the RV is falling apart. It was never meant to be lived in 24/7 for this long (since December 1, 2005)…on top of all the prior use it got as a vacation vehicle.
We take things one day at a time. Dave’s job is a day by day thing. Life is a day by day thing. Yahweh is good. He has met our necessities. Considering He saved us from an eternity without Him, anything else we get is really extra blessings. I try to keep that mindset, especially when surrounded by so many who “seem” to have so much more.
For now, I will enjoy the smell of a chicken cooking on the counter in a roaster that we were blessed with. (Thanks, Darlene!) Hopefully, our convection oven will be fixed this Thursday. We have been without it for almost a month now.
From our little RV on the hillside to you, wherever you are, we hope for you blessings and joy. Remember to always seek the One who created all that we can and cannot see. Remember that He is not the cause of evil in the world. It was our sinful choices as a human race that brought the imbalance to all of creation and that cause evil to others today. Look up to the Creator and get on board with His plan. This is all just temporary. What He has prepared in the life to come cannot even begin to compare.
Educating at home is a challenge…no doubt about it. Yet, it is also a wonderful adventure. It is not all work and no play. It does not have to be a huge weight on our shoulders. Yet, for me, I find myself struggling in the area of educating at home, especially with our living in such a small space. There are many things I wish we could do that we cannot. Yet, that does not mean learning is not happening. We just have to go about it differently.
I wish I could say that I do it smoothly…no bumps in the road…no struggles. I wish I could say that I am always able to feel confident in what we are doing. I wish I could say that we perfectly follow the perfect schedule every day. (Is there even such a thing as a perfect schedule?) Well…we don’t. Things always seem to go up and down.
I find that, overall, I will be feeling pretty good about our focus and what we are doing…and then, next thing I know, I am feeling insecure about it and wondering if all is really well. I have been trying to deal with what it is that causes me to struggle with staying confident in what we are doing.
I was reminded recently that so much of life is really just about perceptions…whether it is our perceptions of others or our perceptions of us. There are also the perceptions of others about us…or what we think are the perceptions of others about us. I believe I fall into the perception trap…especially when it comes to educating my son.
More and more, I am learning that others are oftentimes not what I think they are. They don’t do the things I think they do or think the things I think they think. Oftentimes, they are a whole lot more similar to me than I perceive them to be. And interestingly enough, they just might be having the same perception challenges about me. I know I am not alone in this.
When I am struggling with insecurities or fears, I think a lot of that has to do with perceptions. I may see others who seem to be doing all these wonderful things with their families and feel very inadequate in comparison. Yet, what I don’t see are the things they are not doing. It is rare, if ever, that someone is doing everything. That is simply a perception…something that appears to be true on the surface. In actuality, they are doing some of the same things I am doing. They are carefully choosing what to focus on at this time and letting other things go until later…or even permanently.
In addition…so what if they are doing a whole lot of things that I am unable to do. We are all created uniquely in the eyes of our Creator. He has led each one of us down different paths and gifted us all in a variety of ways. If I am focusing on what I see someone else being able to do rather than on what my heavenly Abba has called me to do…that is a problem. Not for them…but for me…and for my son!
This is definitely an area of struggle for me. When I look around, I see many families whose children are into so many things…things I am unable to provide for my son. That triggers feelings inside…feelings that are not necessarily positive. It can cloud how I perceive those families. Instead of focusing on why or how their children are doing all these things, I need to be focused on what Abba is calling our family to do! The most important thing I need to keep my mind and heart on is “what is G-d doing in us and in our son?”
It also does not matter what we can provide. In fact, the idea that we can provide anything goes back to perception again. Who is the real Provider? Not us! So what about those opportunities that my son does not have? He does not really need them! If he needed them, then our Abba would be providing them.
I was also reminded…again…that each of us has our own bent…including my son. He is not other youth and they are not he. He is unique with his own gifts and talents. Some of the things that other youth are doing, he just might pick up and start doing later on…or he may never do them at all because those things are not what he is called to do. They are not a part of his G-d given bent. Right now, in our living situation, there really is no realistic way for him to do a lot of those things anyway! (Which, of course, goes back again to Who is the real Provider and whether we truly trust that He is providing all that we need…all that our son needs…according to His plan and purpose.)
And what about my inadequacies? Again…it goes back to perception. Oftentimes, I think I am not doing a good job. I feel so inadequate because I think that I am not able to provide for him as I think he needs. But, are those things really true? Am I really “failing” my son? Or is it all about faulty perception?
It is always wise to evaluate what we are doing and make sure we are aiming toward the goals we have set. However, are the goals I want to aim for the same ones Abba wants us to aim for? Or am I wishing I could adopt the goals that I perceive others have for their children…goals that might not fit with my son? And yes, I can be inadequate. Thankfully, though, it is our Abba who works through me. In my weakness, He is strong. Where I am inadequate, He is my adequacy. Where I am lacking, He is the One who fills in those places. It keeps me humble…when I am not focused on my imperfect perceptions!
So much is about perceptions…what I think I perceive about others and what I think I perceive about me and about our situation and about our son. Life is full of uncertainties. I need to keep my eyes and heart on the only real certainty…my Creator. Life is not about what I want to make of it…it is about what He has made of it and where/how I am to fit into His plan…where our son is to fit into His plan.
He has given each one of us a bent. Me. My son. My husband. I think even our family as a whole has a G-d given bent. Am I focusing on learning what those bents are and living according to them? Or am I trying to fit myself, or my son, or even my husband, into someone else’s bent? Am I trying to fit our family into another family’s bent?
The most important thing I can do in this life is love my Creator and live according to His will for me…to the bent He has created me with. The next is to help my son discover his bent and train him up in that bent. It is also to accept the bents of others.
Another really important thing I need to do is to let go of the fear I oftentimes feel regarding how others perceive me, my son, or our family. That could probably be a whole other post. Suffice it to say that I tend to fear instead of trusting my Abba to protect.
So much is about perception…and focus.
Sometimes I think I must be crazy. I hear the voice of Nemo’s dad in my head…well…a modified voice. “You keep thinking you can do all these things, Abigail, but you just can’t!” Ever hear that voice? The one that tries to get in the way of all the things you want to do?
We all have things in life that just seem to want to suck the energy out of us…things that challenge us in some way. The things that challenge me are not going to be the same things that challenge you, although we may share some.
There are things I want to do in this life…in spite of our living situation. I don’t want to be a bump on a log while waiting for things to change…especially things that are beyond my control to change. I want to continue to be pro-active as much as I can…to do things “in spite of” our situation…to keep working creatively “around it”.
Yes…there are times when I simply have to accept that there are some things that I need to wait on. For example…long dresses simply will NOT hang in a short closet in a way that will keep them wearable. You can only fit so much kitchenware and food in a limited amount of space. We cannot replace the couch/bed with the dip in the middle that causes us some physical problems. There is no room for all the binders I want to use for educational purposes. There ARE things I simply must accept…and do without when there is no practical work-around.
However, there are also things I can push through or work around. For example…we have a chicken coop of sorts. There are no roosts, so perhaps it does not really qualify as a coop. A pen, maybe? We don’t have power down there. That means there are no lights to help them stay warm and no way to keep their waterers from freezing. This also means no eggs right now.
Since our son did not follow our counsel to keep one waterer up here inside the RV. (HAHAHAHA…like WHERE is there ROOM???…told you I must be crazy!) We told him to keep one up here warm and swap them out every morning and every evening. That way there is less likelihood of the water in them freezing solid.
Well…do you think he did? ha ha…I must be nuts! Soooooo…there are two chicken waterers in the bathtub. That is the only place we have to clean them. Ever see a bird waterer after it has been in a chicken pen? It is covered with…well…you know what it is covered with. Ick!!! This tub will need a HUGELY thorough cleaning and disinfecting when all is said and done.
So…maybe I am crazy thinking we can really have chickens here in this situation…that I/we can deal with them on top of everything else we have to deal with. I don’t know. Life is definitely an interesting challenge to be sure.
Dave does have the wire he needs to run electricity down to the coop/pen. However, it needs to be put together. In our case, you don’t just plug in an extension cord. This has to be done correctly due to the great distance. We are on the lower pad cut into our hillside. The coop/pen is down in the meadow…and not on the near side, either.
So there we have it. We are trying to keep chickens on top of everything else. We have a chicken waterer in the bathtub along with chicken poop. Am really do not want to get rid of the chickens if we don’t have to. Am I crazy for trying to do this? Who knows? Maybe I am! But then…I don’t think I have ever been known for being extremely sane anyway. Why spoil my reputation? *smile*
